Cat Got Your Tongue
by DiscordianSamba
Summary: This was, undeniably, an absurd situation- but so was being shrunk down into a child, he supposed. And quite honestly, if there was ever someone who was going to prove the existence of something like curses to him, it was pretty much always going to be Heiji.
1. Cat Got Your Tongue

**AN** : There is a perfectly rational explanation for how this piece of crack happened, but you'll never get it from me, and thus, will always be left wondering. That said I was pretty busy today with painters so I didn't have time to work on anything serious, although the next chapter of _Phantasmal Black_ is in progress, so in lieu of that, have this... very silly thing.

The people who are to blame for it know who they are.

* * *

 **Cat Got Your Tongue**

 **AU**

* * *

When Toyama Kazuha arrived at the detective agency, a bag that he recognized as belonging to Heiji hanging over her shoulder, he quickly got the impression that something was wrong here.

Especially once he took notice of the way said bag almost seemed to _squirm_.

"Kazuha-chan?" Setting down the cleaning supplies that she had been holding, Ran turned towards her, a rather befuddled look on her face. That was odd- there had been times when Heiji had visited without Kazuha, to be sure, but it had never happened the other way around. And she was almost entirely certain that was his bag she was carrying, the one with the familiar V for Victory on it's sides. "Is everything alright? Where's Hattori-kun?"

"Well, about that..." Kazuha trailed off, glancing between the two of them, before heaving a long sigh. "Somethin' unbelievable happened."

"Does it have anything to do with what's inside Heiji-niichan's bag?" Conan piped up, watching as the bag almost seemed to squirm in response. There was almost definitely something alive in there.

"Well... I guess it does." Kazuha said after a moment. As the bag squirmed again in response, she made a low shushing sound, holding it in place for the moment as her eyes darted around the agency once more. "Is that uncle not here?"

"Dad?" Ran asked, before shaking her head. "No, he's out with a friend right now. Did you need him for something?"

"No, no!" Quickly shaking her head, Kazuha almost blanched at the way it looked like Ran had been reaching for her phone for a moment, only relaxing once she slipped it back into her pocket. "It's better we don't let him know about somethin' like this!"

"Something like what, Kazuha-neechan?" Conan asked once again. If he trained his ears, he felt as if he could hear something making sounds from within the bag- faint, almost mewling sounds. It almost sounded like a...

"Well, ya see..." Letting out a long sigh, Kazuha carefully unzipped the bag, finally releasing the creature that she had apparently shoved in there, carefully holding it in her hands. "Actually, _this_ is Heiji."

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Conan found himself thinking that if the animal she had extended forth towards them were a dog, he might have believed her easier. On the other hand, whether it was because it wasn't like Kazuha to play a prank like this, or perhaps because of the rather surly, disgruntled expression on the animal's face, somehow, he didn't think this was a joke, either.

Well, that, and there was the fact that he could only wonder how long it would have taken them to find a cat that managed to look almost _exactly_ like Heiji. Between the tuft of hair to one side of his head, and the patches of dark brown above his eyes that almost resembled eyebrows, the cat in question really did look like him. It was even a black cat, a perfect fit, really, for someone who had as much bad luck as Heiji.

"Kazuha-chan, that's..." Ran began, only finding that she didn't quite know what to say until after she had already began to speak. Quickly shutting her mouth, she simply swallowed, her gaze darting between girl and cat, and then back again.

"I know, I _know_ what it sounds like!" Kazuha told them, an almost desperate look in her eyes. "But I'm bein' dead serious here! This is really, _really_ Heiji!"

As if to help his childhood friend out, the cat being dangled in her arms let out a rather loud yowl, his own gaze flickering between Ran and Conan alike. Blue eyes, they both took note of- and although they were like a cat's in nature, just like the rest of him, they somehow managed to be very familiar even so.

For a moment, Ran and Conan could only remain silent, exchanging a glance between each other. If this were a joke, it was a very elaborate one- and neither of them thought that Heiji could hold himself back from jumping out to laugh at them for this long. In other words, there was only one possibility left-

...this was _real_.

" _Eh!?_ " They hadn't meant to sync their reactions, yet nevertheless, that was exactly what happened. As both the shoulders of Kazuha, and the black cat she was carrying, slumped alike at the sound of their outburst, Ran and Conan were left to process the fact that yes, somehow or another, Hattori Heiji had ended up as a cat.

A dog would be one thing- he'd always been rather akin to such animals. But a _cat_?

"So ya believe me?" Kazuha asked, letting out another deep sigh, this time, one of relief. "That's great, I didn't know what I'd do if ya didn't. We can't keep him at home, ya see, cause both my father an' Heiji's father are allergic ta cats, so I was hopin' that maybe..."

"Wait a second, Kazuha-chan!" Quickly cutting in, Ran held up a hand. "We're both still trying to wrap our heads around this idea. You're saying that cat's really...?"

"Yeah." Kazuha said with a nod, finally placing the cat down, which seemed to please him. "The other day, the two of us went ta a shrine, an' he accidentally broke the holy relic that they had on display there. We're pretty sure those two things are related."

Letting out a low yowl, as if to point out that it wasn't his fault, the black cat's gaze flickered from Kazuha, over towards the other two. His tail slightly twitching as he looked Conan's way, he let out another loud yowl, one that the shrunken detective could only begin to guess the meaning of.

"I'm guessing he can't talk?" Conan asked, the frown on his face set so deep that he nearly feared it would become a permanent fixture. This was, undeniably, an absurd situation- but so was being shrunk down into a child, he supposed. And quite honestly, if there was ever someone who was going to prove the existence of something like curses to him, it was pretty much _always_ going to be Heiji.

"No." Kazuha said, shaking her head. "Though I think he's _tried_."

"That must be terrible for Hattori-kun." Ran remarked, only for her words to be met with a rather quick reply from Heiji himself- one that they didn't need to understand to know that it probably meant something along the lines of the main problem here wasn't _that_. "Well, among other things, obviously."

"It's terrible fer me too!" Kazuha protested. "We can't even keep him back at home, like I was sayin' earlier! That's why, Ran-chan, _please_ ," she begged, clapping her hands together as she did so, "...yer the only one I can trust ta look after him fer the time being! He can't exactly take care of himself like this!"

Heiji apparently cared to protest that point.

"Well that's..." Ran trailed off, her gaze straying down towards Conan, before it drifted once more towards Heiji. He was looking her way again, his tail almost seeming to sway expectantly, waiting for her answer. "I guess I'm fine with it if Conan-kun is, but what about Hattori-kun? He should have some say in this matter too."

Or as much of one that he could manage, given, well... goodness, this was going to take quite some time to get used to.

She was going to assume that the yowl Heiji made in response was a yes, given his body language. He really wasn't much of a cat, even if he was in fact, quite literally a cat, she thought to herself- if anything, his body language came off as being much more like a dog's.

And as much as she was ready and willing to help out a friend, at the same time, she couldn't help but wonder what, exactly, she had gotten herself into.

* * *

"Conan-kun, I've already told you, you shouldn't tease Ellery like that!"

Grumbling a little as Ran cleaned the freshly made scratches on his face, Conan could only shoot a dirty look back towards the source of them. The black cat was watching him, what he had come to recognize as a rather smug grin on his face, as if he had done nothing wrong at all.

Sure, he'd been teasing him a little bit... but as far as he saw it, it was only fair payback for everything that Heiji had already put him through. Ran, on the other hand... probably wouldn't feel that way, he already knew. And Heiji, damn it all, was all too aware of this as well.

And after he had taken a bit of mercy on him, and named him after his favorite author. If he kept this up, he might change it to Holmes, like he had first considered.

"For a stray that brat picked up, he sure doesn't seem to like him sometimes." Kogoro observed, his gaze barely straying away from his newspaper. In the three days since they'd taken in the stray black cat, he'd gotten the same treatment his fair share of times as well- the cat was rather quick to express his displeasure, by virtue of his claws and teeth.

"You _have_ had that thing checked out by a vet, right?" Kogoro asked, not missing the way the cat bristled at the suggestion. If he didn't know any better, he'd say the thing could understand human speech.

"Geez, of course I have!" Ran fussed, her gaze flickering almost sympathetically towards Heiji. It was probably better than cluing him in, but by virtue of thinking that Heiji was a real cat, her father had already made more than his fair share of missteps. "And his name isn't _that stray_ or _that thing_ , it's Ellery! _Ell-e-ry_!"

"I don't see why we have to take care of it in the first place." Kogoro muttered, his gaze flickering down towards the cat once more, a deep frown on his face. For some reason, it reminded him of someone, and that bothered him. "Not to mention, you won't even buy cat food for it. Is it really alright, letting it eat human food?"

"I'm sure it's fine!" Conan piped up, deciding to help Ran out- more for her own sake though, than Heiji's, who he was still mad at. "Ran-neechan is careful not to include anything cats can't eat in her cooking."

He'd _tried_ to give Heiji cat food, as a joke on the first day- and he had paid for his joke dearly. He'd made it very clear that while he might have the appearance of one, he had no intention of _eating_ like one. Without any ability to speak, not in any way they could understand, the human turned feline was rather quick to resort what few methods he had of conveying himself left- and pain, apparently, was one of them.

"Well, if you say so..." Still sounding unconvinced, Kogoro merely accepted it for the moment. He didn't really get it, but his daughter seemed rather defensive of the cat for some reason, and he had long ago since learned that sometimes it was just better not to cross her.

Honestly though... from the way his daughter treated the cat, you'd swear it was human.

* * *

Being a cat, he decided, was _exhausting_.

He'd come to that conclusion on the morning of the second day, when it had dawned on him that this was both neither a dream, nor something that was going to wear off all that quickly. On the morning of the start of the second week, he had begrudgingly accepted his fate, which, of course, didn't really make the situation any less annoying for him. It was just easier not to spend every waking moment sulking over it, when it looked like it wasn't going to sort itself out any time soon.

With very little say in the matter, Heiji had more or less gotten used to his current state of affairs. Being a cat wasn't all bad, per say- he was pretty much free to do whatever he wanted, and go wherever he wanted. Sure, he'd gotten lost the first few times he had wandered out into Beika, but recently, he'd more or less learned his way around the place. His tiny cat body brought with it plenty of inconveniences, but he couldn't claim that he didn't like how agile he was with it.

As for the disadvantages, of which there were any number, he had begun to adjust to them as well. Not having opposable thumbs was a huge downside, and not being able to talk was a serious pain in the ass. Or to be more precise, not being able to talk to anyone human- at the very least, it had turned out that there was no shortage of cats in the neighborhood willing to chat with him.

As it turned out, the stuff cats had to say was actually pretty interesting. They seemed to recognize that, by and large, he wasn't _quite_ one of them- but most of them had accepted him into their fold, and for that, he had to admit, he was grateful. He didn't know what he would do if he were unable to talk to anyone- and talking to his fellow cats was honestly better than not talking at all.

His fellow cats, though... well, as much as he said he was going to accept this, for the time being, it still bothered him at the end of the day. At the very least, he'd stopped doing things like forgetting he had four legs now, and catching sight of his reflection no longer startled him, only caused him to grumble a bit.

There were parts of his new field of vision that he was still getting used to- but he had to say, he was going to miss the night vision. The hearing too- both of which he found himself thinking would prove themselves useful in a case. Not that he would have much chance of using them as he was now- but when- and there was some small part of him that dreaded that it was actually an _if_ \- he went back to his normal self, he would kind of miss them both.

The sense of smell though... he wasn't going to miss that. There was a reason he stayed as far away from Kogoro as possible, and it wasn't just because the old man was prone to manhandling him in a way he didn't like. He'd be lying if he said that wasn't part of it though- but thankfully, among those who weren't aware he was actually a human, Kogoro was the worst of them.

Honestly, even the _Detective Boys_ were better than him. That said, he did kind of wish they'd stop it already with the cat toys- especially the catnip mice. On the list of things that he would never be able to live down for the rest of his life, the catnip mice were pretty high on the list.

There were other things too, of course- being a cat brought a whole new set of instincts, and a whole new set of needs. And on occasion, when those two things collided, well... they could create some problems for him.

This time, the problem was a hairball.

The moment he'd realized what it was that he had coughed up, Heiji's eyes darted frantically around the agency, only relaxing once he confirmed that nobody had been here to witness what he had just done. If he were able, he would have let out a sigh of relief, but instead, his shoulders merely slumped, thinking what he needed to do right now to hide the evidence of this rather... embarrassing incident.

Of that, he was loathe to admit, there had been any number of. The litter box was the worst of them, worst still than the catnip mice- and he had made certain to impress the importance of leaving something unlocked for him to slip out of during the night to both Neechan and Kudo afterwards. It had taken him ages before he could manage to look anyone in the eye after that, but blessedly, they hadn't spoken a word of it to Kazuha.

Kudo probably _wanted_ to, he could sense- ever since he had ended up like this, it felt like the guy was giving him nothing but grief. He would have thought that he'd have more sympathy for him, given that they had both been forced into bodies that they didn't want, but apparently, he was wrong.

Alright, that was a bit of an exaggeration- Kudo did in fact, give him plenty of sympathy. What he couldn't do anymore, Kudo usually did for him without too much of a fuss- though he _always_ had something to say whenever it came to reading Ellery Queen novels, that jerk. For the most part, he still treated him almost look he always did, certain necessary hiccups not withstanding... and that, Heiji honestly appreciated.

For the _most_ part, that was. He could do without the guy trying to lug him around everywhere like that- that was no way to hold a cat!

Which, god help him, he _was_.

Which was all the more reason why he could never let him find out about this. Eyes darting around the agency once more, Heiji quickly made up his mind, carefully shoving the hairball underneath one of the couches. Leaping up onto Kogoro's desk, he grabbed a tissue, using it as best he could to wipe up any trail left behind, before dropping it in the trash.

He might have not liked being a cat, but he'd gotten pretty decent at it nonetheless. Kudo might claim that his body language was still a downright mess, but when it came to dealing with day to day situations, he pretty much had the whole cat thing figured out.

* * *

Ran, of course, found the hairball later. He'd been unable to meet her eyes during the entire time she had cleaned it up, grateful that at the very least, she was the only other person in the room with him. It was only after she had thrown it away that she had softly promised that she wouldn't mention a peep of it to anyone- a promise, which while he was grateful for it, was not one that would hold later on.

Not when it came to the laser pointer.

If there was another downside to being a cat, of which, he was swiftly discovering there were many- it was the instincts. It wasn't as if he forgot he was human at any point in time, but rather, it was just that at times, the instincts that came as a package deal with the body could be a... little overpowering, to say the least.

Logically, he of course knew that the red dot on the floor was impossible to catch, his brain running through exactly how it was that laser pointers worked, their ins and outs. Logic, however, fell to the wayside the very moment it moved out of his immediate line of vision, instinct surging up in it's place. For a moment, the only thing he knew was that there was something fast before him, something that he had to catch, otherwise he would be a complete failure of a cat.

He only dimly made out the sound of Ran calling for Conan to come and see, only truly noticing the presence of his friend by the appearance of a second, infernal red dot on the floor.

To hell with logic, he'd catch them _both_.

* * *

Apparently, it wasn't enough that every man, woman, and child in this town had decided to become detectives. No, apparently now, even _animals_ had to get in on the act.

At the very least, that was the only way that he had to explain the black cat that he'd found nosing around the crime scene, acting as if for all the world that he belonged there. One whose behavior, if Megure didn't know any better, was much more that of someone investigating the area, than of a stray cat that had just wandered in somehow. An ill omen, one of the officers had muttered underneath their breath.

Somehow, when the one who came to claim the cat in question turned out to be none other than Edogawa Conan, Megure wasn't all that surprised.

"So, I take it this cat is your pet, then?" Megure dryly asked. He had heard mention that the Edogawa boy had taken in a stray cat. The fact that it was a black cat that he had adopted had flown underneath his radar, yet somehow, it didn't quite surprise him.

"Something like that!" Conan hastily replied, not even needing to look down at the way Heiji's fur bristled to know that he wasn't taking kindly to being called that. He'd grumbled when the Detective Boys did it too, and while part of him found it funny, the other part of him had to admit, it was awkward to hear his best friend referred to in such a manner.

"Well, take more care not to let him wander into crime scenes, then." Megure simply told him. "We can't have him spreading cat fur everywhere."

That earned him a rather annoyed yowl, and for a moment, Megure could only wonder if the cat had perhaps understood him. When he later caught the child discussing something with the cat in hushed tones in one corner of the room, he began to suspect that he was on to something there.

And likewise, he decided that he wanted no further part in that. There were already far too many mysteries revolving around Edogawa Conan for him to want to have to start puzzling out the mystery of his _cat_.

* * *

The weight of something landing on the back of his backpack was something he'd come to recognize, to the point where he didn't even need to glance back to know who it was. Letting out a small sigh, Conan nevertheless did that much, adjusting the straps of his bag so that he could carry the fuzzy freeloader a bit more easily.

"Taking a walk, Hattori?" Conan asked, grateful that he had already parted ways with the rest of the Detective Boys. The cat's grin was of course, not quite like that of the one he sported when he was human, but it was nevertheless a fairly close imitation of it. "Patrolling?"

That yowl was a yes, Conan gathered. He thought he'd wandered into the usual territory that Heiji had more or less claimed as his own, and it would seem that he was right. It wasn't the first time that he had crossed paths with the detective turned cat outside of the agency, and he suspected it was unlikely to be the last.

"Honestly, I can't believe you managed to get used to this." Conan told him, deciding that he was now a bit tired of the cat riding on his bag. "And get off already, Hattori. You're heavy."

Making a faint sound, Heiji nevertheless complied, hopping off the back of Conan's bag, stretching a little after doing so. His tail twitching slightly, a rather pleased expression graced his face as he caught up with his friend again, keeping pace with him.

"You are planning on going back to normal sometime, aren't you?" Conan asked. The look that he got in return was easy to read- a quick, unspoken retort of _I could say the same fer you, idiot_.

"Fair point." Conan admitted. "But at least I can _talk_."

Ah yes, that hiss he knew. It only ever had one meaning- one that Ran would have him washing out his mouth with soap if he dared repeat it.

"Geez, cranky. Did you lose a fight with a bird today or something?" Conan asked- a question he almost regretted asking, given the rather smug expression on the cat's face. "Don't _actually_ get into fights with birds, Hattori."

Whatever reply he might have given was put on hold, as Heiji froze in place, his ears twitching in the direction of a sound that Conan couldn't even begin to hear. It wasn't the first time this had happened either- and he usually knew that it was prelude to something else. Sure enough, not a second later, Heiji was already on the move, darting off and leaping up a wall, following a path that would be difficult for even Conan's child sized body to follow.

Heaving a long sigh, Conan merely pulled out his cellphone, shooting Ran a message that he might be a little late coming home from school that day. He didn't know if it were part and parcel of whatever curse that Heiji had been placed on him, or if it were just something inherent in his nature as a black cat, but sometimes it almost seemed as if he'd developed an even _more_ uncanny ability to find cases than he'd already had.

Well, as long as he figured out the source of the sirens that Heiji had undoubtedly picked up on, he'd probably find that darned cat. Hopefully _before_ he gave Megure too much of a headache.

* * *

"Heiji, I missed ya~!"

Were it anyone else, the claws would have come out the moment he had been scooped up and squeezed in a tight embrace, but as it was, he merely endured it. He had kind of missed her too, after all, even if they had only spent a week apart. To those who had spent a lifetime together, even something as small as that felt as if it were a great distance.

Besides, it wasn't as if he could advance their relationship any now that he was a furball, so the most that he could do for his childhood friend was let her pamper him. In truth, there was a part of him that couldn't exactly claim that he disliked it- Kazuha always seemed to know just how to stroke him just right.

The fact that he actually _enjoyed_ being petted was a secret that he would take to his grave.

"Have they been takin' good care of ya, Heiji?" Kazuha asked, finally releasing him from her vice grip, as she flopped back on the couch. There was a pleased smile on her face as he curled up in her lap, letting out a yowl in reply to her question. "I see, so they have! I knew that trustin' Ran-chan was the right choice!"

"Would you like something to drink, Kazuha-chan?" Ran asked, sparing a smile down towards the cat curled up on her lap. Really, it would appear that he saved his most content expression for when she was around- it was almost transparent in a way like no other that he liked her. He only purred for her, after all. "Are you fine for now, Hattori-kun?"

That yowl was a yes, Ran determined. Figuring out what his various noises meant had become rather simple recently- but it should come as no surprise, seeing that Heiji had been with them for nearly three months now. As of yet, there had been no signs of his curse lifting, and as much as she could tell it was making Heiji somewhat antsy, he also had seemed to resign himself to his fate, whatever it might be.

"I'm fine, Ran-chan!" Kazuha told her, lightly stroking Heiji's head, a soft smile on her face at the sound of the purr that he made as she did so. Really, he was so cute like this- though it was bit frustrating not to be able to talk to him as she always could. "I just hope that Heiji hasn't been givin' ya too much trouble."

"The other day, Heiji-niichan-!"

"No, not at all." Ran said, quickly cutting Conan off, casting a smile down towards him that very quickly made him snap his mouth shut. They had promised to keep that bird incident under wraps, after all. "He's been a very polite houseguest."

"Well, I guess he's got an awful lot _less_ of himself ta make a mess with these days." Kazuha remarked, moving her finger so that she scratched right underneath his chin. "Ahh, if only he was this easy ta deal with normally!"

Her words earned her an annoyed glower from Heiji, breaking out of his otherwise pleased revere to let his protests be known. There were times it almost felt as if Kazuha liked him better this way, when he was small and cute like this. Still, there were only just moments- because all he had to do to know that she missed the real him was just look into her eyes.

He loved when Kazuha visited, but he also hated it too- because it reminded him all too keenly of the distance between the two of them. Honestly, now that it was like this, the first thing he was going to do upon returning to being a human was to properly confess to her!

But since he couldn't do anything about that right now, for the moment, he could at least let her pamper however much she wanted. It certainly wasn't _just_ because he happened to like it- a lot.

As they watched Heiji all but melt into Kazuha's lap, Ran and Conan could only exchange a glance between each other, a shared smile between them. They didn't need words to know that Heiji enjoyed Kazuha's pampering to no end- that much was written on his face, etched into every signal his tiny feline body gave off.

Honestly, be he human or cat, there was no one out there easier to read than Hattori Heiji.


	2. The Case of Hattori Heiji

**AN** : People asked for more Heicat, so I decided to write some more? I wouldn't consider this to be any kind of serious mutli-chapter fic or anything like that, but I probably will write new installments from time to time, from the perspective of various characters. And who better to start that off with other than Heiji himself?

As always, thanks for reading! It would be great if you could leave a review on your way out if you're able to. Until next time, whenever that is!

* * *

 **The Case of Hattori Heiji**

* * *

The first thing he knew was that everything was _wrong_.

It was the sound of his alarm clock, as usual, that roused him from his slumber. The sound was somehow louder and much more grating than he ever recalled it being, and he was filled with the urge to turn it off as quickly as possible. But while he had the desire to do so, his body didn't seem to quite want to respond to his commands, not moving the way he wished it to.

On the whole, he felt... very strange. Uncomfortable, as if his bones were twisted in the wrong way, as if he had been suddenly crammed into a container that was far too small for him. By the time he finally managed to crack his eyes open, the feeling had become more intense, both that things were not as they should be, and that _he_ was not as he should be.

What he _wanted_ to do was reach out an arm to turn off the alarm, but his arm was not responding to him as he wished it. Grumbling, wondering if he had slept wrong somehow, he tried turning over, and while he managed to do this, the feeling of discomfort only increased.

Everything was wrong. The sound of the alarm was wrong, his field of vision was wrong, but it was his body that felt the most wrong of all. Trying to get a grip on what the cause of all of this was, Heiji only then finally took notice that his instincts were right. Something was indeed, very much amiss with his body.

No wonder his arms weren't working as he'd like- they had changed into legs, covered with black fur, ending not with hands, but a pair of paws. Perhaps it was the shock that triggered something in him, but he found that he was finally able to force himself up, stumbling a little and all but falling back on his rear end no sooner than he had done so. Something behind him was moving, but he didn't want to look back yet to face what was surely there.

Well, that _would_ explain why everything felt so off this morning, if literally nothing else. Chief among them, being how on earth he had managed to, apparently, transform into a _cat_.

At least, he _thought_ he was a cat. From the new perspective that he had found himself forced into, it seemed right.

Forced, really, was the right word for it. No wonder he felt so uncomfortable- it was as if someone had taken a human being, and had forced that into the small container of a cat, without so much as any warning. Nothing was the way it should be, and quite frankly, he was having trouble judging left from right, up from down- and the constant beeping of his alarm was really, _really_ not helping matters.

At least it drew attention, if nothing else. As much as he half didn't want to be found in such a state, even he wasn't so stubborn that he couldn't admit that he was in desperate need of help right now.

He could feel the twitching of his ears, cocking in the direction of the sound of footsteps, the alarm clock not so loud that it drowned out their approach. Dimly, he was aware that his range of hearing had been dramatically increased, hence why the sound of the alarm both sounded distorted and all the more annoying.

"Heiji, it's time to wake up already-!" Throwing open the door with just a bit of annoyance in her otherwise usually composed voice, Hattori Shizuka found her words all but dying in her throat. Though her son was nowhere to be found, she could see a bit of his pajamas sticking out from underneath the covers, both of which were absent of their usual occupant.

What _was_ there, however, was a black cat- one that had a rather familiar tuft of fur on it's head, and eyes whose color, if nothing else, invoked in her a sense of familiarity. Stopping dead in her tracks, Shizuka at the very least had the presence of mind to snap her hanging mouth shut.

Which, to be fair, was a pretty expected reaction, all things considered. Just trying to turn his head in her direction proved to be something of a challenge, but he managed, fixing his gaze on his mother. He could only hope that she could realize what was going on, for although he had been somewhat able to follow her words, though the sound of them were just as distorted as the sound of the alarm, he kind of got the feeling that, well...

To his credit, he did try.

But instead of anything that sounded like human speech coming out, what came out of him instead was a loud yowl. Well, at the very least he had now confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was a cat now- that was a very cat-like sound.

His mother's disbelief, even as comprehension dawned on her was, quite frankly, understandable. He was the one in this situation, and he could hardly believe it either.

"... _Heiji?_ "

God, he hoped that yowl sounded like a yes.

* * *

The worst of the uncomfortable feeling that had been gripping him passed in the span of a few hours. It wasn't as if he had gotten any more used to his current form, still very much feeling like something quite large crammed into something very small, but at the very least, it wasn't a constant buzz in his head, becoming instead something that he could manage.

He'd learned to operate his new feline body to some extent, though he knew full well he was still awkward and clumsy, lacking all the grace that one normally expected from a cat. But he had at least learned to walk, if not very well, and when one considered he had to be carried into the living room in the first place by his mother, it was a marked improvement.

But still... for someone who was at the center of the commotion, he sure had very little to actually do with it himself. His mother and father were one thing, but even Kazuha and her parents were here- all trying to figure out what on earth had happened, and what on earth they were even going to _do_ with him. It was a very heated discussion from the sound of it, and one that he was having more than a little trouble following along with. It wasn't as if he had lost the ability to understand human speech, but rather was merely because he was hearing the world with a much wider range than before.

Everything sounded strange because well, everything _was_ strange. Not only was he viewing the world from a much lower perspective, but he was doing so through a largely new set of senses. Just getting used to that would be a challenge in and of itself.

While it chafed at him not to be included in a discussion about his own fate, it wasn't as if he could contribute all that much to it. He'd made several attempts, and had concluded that it was beyond him to make any kind of noise resembling anything close to human speech. Nobody could understand him, but at the very least, he'd managed to get across that he could still understand them.

There had been relief all around at that, as they tried to make sense out of the honestly nonsensical circumstances that they had been thrown into.

Kazuha was the one who had brought up the matter of the sacred relic he had broken the day before, and Heiji could only grumble at the mention. As much as he wanted to deny it, the shrine that they had paid a visit to _did_ have a connection to cats, and the theory that he'd angered the god that was worshiped there and had been cursed for it was currently shaping up to be the top theory.

It had only been an accident! To go so far as to rob him of his human form because of that... what was that god's problem?

To say that he was in a foul mood was perhaps an understatement.

With the matter of how this had happened seemingly having been resolved, what was now on the table appeared to be what they were going to do to fix it- and what they were going to do with him in the meantime. It wasn't as if they could keep him here- while the place was big, there was the matter of his father's allergies.

In spite of everything, Heiji found himself taking some form of smug satisfaction in finally causing that stone faced bastard to show some emotion- even if what was causing his eyes to water was merely allergies. He'd take his small victories where he could find them.

That said, it was still a problem. Since he couldn't stay within his own home, they needed to find someone who would be able to take care of him. Though he grumbled at the way they phrased it, longing to point out that he was more than capable of taking care of himself, that was under _ideal_ circumstances- and his current ones were quite a deal less than that. Though he had somewhat managed to figure out the basics, he got the feeling that a full understanding of his new feline form was going to take some time.

In the meantime... well, if forced, he would admit that he probably _did_ need someone to look after him. His stark lack of opposable thumbs was almost the least of his problems, really.

Kazuha had offered, naturally, but her suggestion was quickly shot down for the same reasons as to why he couldn't continue living in his own home- her father was likewise allergic. Someone had suggested that perhaps Otaki would be a good choice, but it was quickly pointed out that the apartment he lived in didn't allow for any _pets_ \- and though he was damn sure that they knew what it had meant, everyone ignored the pointed yowl he had let out at the mere _mention_ of the word.

Sure, okay, he might be a cat now- but he wasn't a damn _pet_.

"What about Ran-chan's place?"

His ears perking up at the sound of the suggestion, Heiji turned his head Kazuha's way, tail twitching slightly as he watched her. Living with Kudo might not be so bad- he would get to see his best friend every day! Not to mention, he'd get the chance to eat that Neechan's cooking every day... not to say that his own mother's cooking wasn't amazing, but when you'd grown up eating it all your life, it tended to be a little less special.

And like hell he was going to eat _cat food_.

It was a suggestion, that he very quickly realized, did bring one problem with it.

"Mouri-han's daughter?" It was his mother who spoke, a considering look on her face. "She is a nice girl, from what I've seen of her. But Kazuha-chan, I'm sure I don't have to tell you that this situation is a bit..."

"Hard ta believe?" Kazuha finished for her, her gaze flickering over towards him as she said that. Caught staring at her, Heiji jolted a bit, turning his head away from her. They hadn't had a chance to talk in private, not yet- though he supposed it almost didn't matter, seeing as he was in no condition to talk back at the moment.

Dimly, he realized that any plans to confess to her would have to be put on hold until he found a way to return to normal. Or at the very least, he hoped that there _was_ a way to return him to normal- because right now, the transformation was feeling pretty damn permanent. If he had to spend the rest of his life as a cat... god, he didn't even want to try and think about that right now.

Suffice to say that it _wasn't_ something he wanted.

"Yes." Shizuka said with a slight frown. "I don't like the idea of leaving Heiji in the hands of someone who believes he's..." For once, her words failing her, Shizuka trailed off there, heaving a small sigh. She'd always known that her son had a knack for trouble, but this was, well, more than she could have ever expected. "Well, I suppose he is a rather genuine cat now, but I'd rather not leave him with someone who doesn't _know_."

"Which means we need to leave him with someone we can trust." Shizuka finished, casting a rather sympathetic glance in the direction of her son.

"Don't worry, Auntie Shizuka!" Quick to reassure her, a bright smile spread across Kazuha's face. "If it's Ran-chan, there won't be any problems."

She sounded so confident of that, Heiji noted. Ran was one thing, but the real question was if they could get _Kudo_ to buy it. Granted, in the area of suddenly finding your body twisted into a shape that was not that of your own, he had some experience, so he might believe it. On the other hand, well...

The guy was still human.

* * *

When they were finally left alone together, Heiji almost wished that they hadn't been.

It was painfully clear to him that for once, Kazuha didn't know what to say to him. And he, for once, was unable to start any kind of conversation. For a long moment, it was all that they could do to look at each other, gazes fixed fast on one another, until Kazuha was finally forced to blink.

At the very least, it seemed to spur her on to say something.

"Yer really Heiji, aren't ya?"

It was either the twitch of his tail or the sound of his yowl that sufficiently conveyed how annoyed he was at that question, that seemed to fully convince her. Watching as a look of disbelief, and then, steadily, acceptance, crossed her face, Heiji could only shift on his feet somewhat, wondering what to do now.

If he had thought that seeing his parents through the eyes of a cat was strange, then seeing the girl he loved through them was another thing entirely. To be frank, he wished that she was standing a bit closer, because at this range, she actually seemed a bit blurry. Knowing that he couldn't ask such a thing of her, he decided to take the matter into his own hands ( _paws_ , really), managing to stand up, and take a few clumsy strides over towards her.

He should have expected that she would snort. He'd no idea what it was that he looked like as he walked, only that it was hardly graceful. He wasn't used to being a quadruped at all- after all, when he had gone to sleep last night, he was still very much bipedal. It was only natural that he was going to be clumsy- it wasn't just simply a matter of him now having four feet, as it was a matter of his center of gravity having shifted, not to mention his sense of balance having been drastically altered.

He'd get used to it, he imagined. If this was going to drag on, he was going to have to- he'd rather not be a clumsy mess of a cat, if he must be one.

"Sorry, sorry." Both the apology and the smile that she cracked were enough to clue him in that he must have been making some kind of expression that was easy for her to read. "It's just... ya walk like yer a cat that got drunk, Heiji."

Letting out a loud yowl of compliant, Heiji narrowed his eyes. God, he had only been like this for maybe around five or so hours now, and he was already sick of not being able to talk. He couldn't even tell his own childhood friend to kindly _fuck off_ \- though at the very least, she seemed to get the picture.

"Well, the temper's the same as usual, at least." Drawing closer to him, Kazuha's hand seemed to hover over him for a moment, as if by instinct, before she drew it back, awkwardly shoving it into her pocket. Restraint was unusual for her, so she must have been far more bothered by this situation than she was letting on. "How are ya feelin' though Heiji? I mean, really."

Staring at her for a long moment, hoping to remind her that he had no direct way of answering that question, Heiji could only mentally sigh. Staying standing was still something of a challenge, so instead, he sat, the pose that came most natural to his body still nevertheless feeling awkward to him.

"Oh yeah, I guess ya can't really answer me, can ya?" Realizing as much after a moment, Kazuha shifted on her heels, suddenly feeling rather awkward. Were it not for the fact that he seemed to be answering her near as well as he could manage, she would honestly have trouble believing that he was really in there, and that this wasn't some kind of elaborate prank of his.

"...have ya seen yerself yet?"

Heiji felt his ears twitch at the question, it only just now sinking into him that in fact, he hadn't. If he had to be honest, he almost didn't want to- it felt as if in doing so, he would be forced to fully confront the reality in which he had found himself. To see himself, transformed in such a way... he felt a shudder run down the length of his spine.

"Ah, ya don't have ta if ya don't want ta, Heiji." Kazuha said quickly. He must have shuddered quite obviously, then.

Still... he probably still should get a good look at himself. Perhaps all of this would simply wear off by tomorrow morning, and all this worry was for naught- but perhaps not. And quite frankly? He was going to go for the perhaps not.

Letting out another yowl, Heiji pushed himself up to his feet again, drawing just a bit closer to her. If he went any further, he'd just end up falling off the table- and he'd rather not test first hand yet if cats really always did land on their feet. He hoped the look in his eyes was one of expectation, because while he had gotten at least a basic grasp on walking, he wasn't quite ready to figure out how it was that he was supposed to jump down off of things just yet.

"Eh? Is that yes?" Kazuha asked, blinking a little as the black cat let out another yowl. "What, do ya want me ta carry ya there or somethin', Heiji?"

When he let out another yowl, Kazuha could only let out a sigh. Normally she would have made a quip here- but it was obvious to her that Heiji was struggling to come to grips with the body he'd found himself in. Knowledge of how to use it was apparently not all that instinctive- because while she would never describe Heiji as graceful, he usually did a fair sight better than this.

Well, that, and to be frank, she actually did kind of want to hold him. It was just... his fur looked so very soft, and while she always thought of herself as more of a dog person, even she couldn't deny how cute a cat Heiji had turned out to be. It was taking everything in her to keep herself from picking him up and cuddling him close, instead forcing herself to remember that no matter how cute he looked, what was on the _inside_ of that cat was her idiot of a childhood friend- one that should, under normal circumstances, be human.

"Then, fine." Pulling her hands from her pockets, Kazuha hesitated for only a moment longer- before she carefully scooped Heiji up in her arms, cradling him close to her chest. He squirmed a little in her arms, letting out a yowl that she was half sure was a compliant, to which she only furrowed her brow, glowering down at him. "Don't complain, Heiji. There's worse ways ta hold a cat."

God, but he was so _soft_. She wanted nothing more than to just stroke his fur until she was satisfied, but for the moment, she fought the urge, instead making her way to the hallway bathroom, where the nearest mirror was.

Only to find that the idiot cat had his eyes shut tight. As she thought, he really _didn't_ want to see it. She supposed that she couldn't blame him, but since she had gone through the trouble of bringing him here, he might as well take a look. "Come on Heiji, don't be such a baby. Ya wanted ta see, so open yer dang eyes an' take a look."

Mentally grumbling a little, Heiji finally cracked open an eye. Turning his head slowly to face the mirror, he found himself confronted with the image of a black cat reflected back in it. For a brief moment, the gears failed to click in his head, before he finally realized that what he was looking at was none other than himself.

The feeling of discomfort, that he had somewhat managed to subdue, came back in full force.

* * *

When he woke the next morning to find that he was very much still a cat, he sensed that he should likely give up on the notion that this would be over anytime soon. Stumbling out of the cat bed that had been bought for him in a hurry the previous afternoon, he lapsed into a long stretch, half out of instinct, though a kind that had been previously unknown to him.

He felt a little less like a human being who had been stuffed into the form of a cat, but he was hardly comfortable with this form yet. Given the alternative, however, perhaps a bit of discomfort was a good thing- were he to start simply feeling like a cat, through and through, he found himself half worried that he might forget such an important fact like that of him having once been human.

It was a prospect that he was very much trying not to dwell on.

He was too hungry to worry too much right now anyways- come to think of it, he'd barely eaten anything yesterday, not having the appetite for it. Sniffing the air, dimly aware on some level of the way his whiskers twitched as he did so, Heiji swore he could make out the faint scent of fish being carried on it.

Maybe it was just because of his body, but the scent was almost too tempting. Putting all other thoughts from his mind, he made his way to it's source, the scent growing stronger and far more tempting along the way. By the time he had made his way into the kitchen where his mother was fixing breakfast, he was almost ravenous.

"Oh, Heiji." Had he yowled? He must have, if his mother had heard him. It wasn't as if his feet, padded as they were, made an awful lot of noise. "Are you hungry?"

Letting out a yowl to indicate that was very much the case, Heiji watched as his mother acknowledged this, getting out a plate from one of the cabinets. The sound of the fish sizzling caused him to lick his lips, his tail quivering in anticipation. Even fixed as he was on the coming food, he didn't miss the way his mother forced her expression, trying to act for his own sake that she was taking this all in stride.

Of course she wasn't. The child that she had given birth to, her son, had suddenly turned into something else entirely, and nobody knew what to do about it. On top of that, it was starting to seem as if he wouldn't even be able to stay here, at his own home- Kazuha's suggestion that he go live with the Mouri family was currently gaining ground.

To be honest, he didn't want to leave- but he understood why he couldn't stay here, either. As amusing as it was to see his father with his eyes watering, he knew it wasn't good for him. Their house might be big, but things like cat fur and dander carried, even if one cleaned well.

"Here you go." Setting down a plate in front of him, Shizuka crouched down in front of her son, trying not to think on things too much. "I took the liberty of removing the bones from it for you, Heiji. They're small, and I wouldn't want you to choke on one."

Making a slight face at that, Heiji nevertheless couldn't resist the call of his stomach. Gaze lingering on his mother for only a moment longer, he let the smell of the fish lull him, making quick work of what he had been offered. He could feel his mother's eyes on him still as he ate, which bothered him more than he wanted to admit, but for the moment, managed to put it aside.

She had a right, after all- her only son had turned into a cat.

"Is it good, Heiji?" Shizuka asked, fighting a vague urge to reach down and stroke him. He wouldn't appreciate it, she knew, but she couldn't deny it was there. "You didn't have much of an appetite yesterday, so I'm glad to see you eating properly."

She didn't give voice to anything else out loud, but he could sense what she was thinking. She would have to send her son off to live with other people, and even then though she knew Ran well enough to know she was reliable, she couldn't help but worry about him. It would bother her enough under normal circumstances, and these? Well, they weren't those.

Licking stray bits of fish off of his lips, Heiji looked up at her, letting out what he could only hope was a reassuring yowl. He might have this kind of form, but it wasn't like he was completely helpless.

...at least, that's what he wanted to say. At the moment, he kind of _was_.

But well... he'd have to get the hang of it eventually. He might be a cat, but at the end of the day, he was still Hattori Heiji, and he wasn't the type to just sit around and do nothing. If there was nothing else he could do, at the very least, he could master this body. After all, he had no idea how long he'd be stuck with in this form, he might as well make the most of it.

At least it looked like he'd end up spending a lot more quality time with Kudo in the near future. Though again, the circumstances were far from ideal, he couldn't say he hated the sound of that.

And well... nobody ever said that a cat _couldn't_ be a detective, he supposed. Even if they had, he wasn't about to let that stop him. He'd never been much of one to listen to what other people told him he couldn't do.


	3. The Case of Edogawa Conan

**AN** : I'm pretty sure I mentioned it before, but in case I haven't this isn't really much of a story to expect too much plot or even structure from, since it really is just an idea that I'm playing around with and having fun. Consider it (mostly) light content! Anyways, with that, it's time for a chapter focusing on everyone's favorite pint-sized detective, Conan!

Well then, until next time! It'll be time for Ran's POV then.

* * *

 **The Case of Edogawa Conan**

* * *

He'd never really been much of the type to believe in things like curses.

He'd also never been much of the type to deny the truth in front of his face, no matter how absurd it was. A mere half year ago, he would have never thought that something like shrinking back into a child would have been possible- and yet now, he found himself staring at the truth in the mirror every day. But there was no point in clinging to beliefs that had proven themselves to be false.

Though at the moment, he kind of wished he could.

"Get _off_ me, you asshole." It wasn't the sound of Kogoro's snoring that muffled his words, but rather, it was the rather fuzzy feline body that was currently stretched out over his face. Speaking gave him a mouthful of cat hair, his hands not quick enough to catch up and pull the cat off his face in time.

Reading the facial expressions of a cat was something he'd yet to master, but he was pretty sure that look on his face was one of amusement. It sure as heck wasn't an _apology_ , at the very least.

"I think I liked you better when you had trouble walking." Conan observed, setting the cat down in front of him, ignoring the pointed yowl his words got him. "So, what ungodly hour of the morning have you woken me up at this time, Hattori?"

Judging from the fact that he could still faintly make out the sounds of Ran preparing breakfast, too damn early, Conan thought to himself. It was just his luck that he now lived with _two_ morning people- even if one wasn't much of a person at the moment. Letting out a loud yawn, he rose to his feet before the cat could harass him further. There was no point in going back to sleep when Heiji would just wake him up all over again.

It had been around two weeks now, since Kazuha had barged into the detective agency, a black cat in hand. Said cat had turned out to be none other than Hattori Heiji, high school detective of the west, the one considered by some as his counterpart. Since both his father and that of her own were allergic to cats, she had no choice but to ask the one person she felt she could rely on in this situation- Ran.

Which was exactly how he had landed himself in the absurd position he was in now. Still, he supposed he shouldn't complaining too much- he could have been in _Heiji's_ position instead.

At the very least, when his body had been changed against his will, he'd been allowed to keep his opposable thumbs.

"Oh, Conan-kun, you're up early!" Ran remarked, a bright smile on her face as he entered the kitchen, only briefly flickering down towards his feline companion. "Did Hattori-kun wake you up?"

"Yeah." Nodding his head, Conan let out another yawn, still too sleepy to give much more of a response. In the back of his mind, he swore he could hear the sound of Heiji's snickering, but he knew that was merely his mind playing tricks on him. Heiji, after all, could no longer speak- at least not in any words that were intelligible to humans.

One would think that perhaps this would make him a bit less of a chatterbox- but they'd be wrong about that. That pleased yowl, taking Ran's words as those of praise, was proof enough of that. Even if they couldn't understand him, he could still very much understand them, and often had no intention of being left out of the conversation.

"Then, breakfast will be ready soon, Conan-kun." Ran told him. "And of course, for you too, Hattori-kun. Though it'll take a bit longer to properly debone the fish."

Really, if there was one thing that was truly strange about this all, somehow stranger still than the fact that Heiji had been turned into a cat in the first place, it was how used to his presence here they had gotten. It hadn't even really taken all that long either. Even Kogoro, who had been against the idea of keeping a cat until Ran had given him _that look_ , had grown used to the black cat's presence. He was already shaping up to be a cog that seemed as if it had always been there, altering the fabric of their daily lives.

Well, again, he supposed that wasn't something he could really talk much about.

* * *

"Nice accessory you've got there, Heiji-niichan."

"Conan-kun, don't tease him." Though she didn't raise her voice in the least, the sound of Ran's light chiding somehow still rose above the annoyed yowl that Heiji let out. "I told Hattori-kun that I wouldn't let you tease him about the collar. It was hard enough to talk him into wearing it in the first place, don't make him change his mind!"

" _But_ -" Conan opened up his mouth to protest, still fighting back another round of laughter. Even the piercing glare that he was on the receiving end of from his friend turned cat wasn't enough to dissuade him. After all, there was something hilarious about seeing him in a collar, complete with a name tag on it, one that read the alias that they had given him.

In hindsight, he really _should_ have named him after a Conan Doyle character. He'd taken pity on him though- and had instead used the name of his own favorite mystery author, Ellery.

While Heiji's glower wasn't enough to dissuade him from laughing, the look Ran gave him _was_.

" _Conan-kun_." At this, her voice did raise, though only slightly. Though all she held was a ladle, somehow in her hands, it almost seemed to become a deadly weapon. "It's not polite to laugh at your friend's misfortunes."

"Y-yes, Ran-neechan." Slowly nodding his head, Conan fought the urge to take a step backwards. When Ran was serious about something, there really was no arguing with her- and even he wasn't fool enough to try. "But I'm amazed that you let her talk you into it, Heiji-niichan."

Though, really, Ran could probably convince Heiji to do just about anything she wanted. Sometimes he could swear that he had a deeply rooted, almost instinctual fear of her. If anything, it was a trait that had only _increased_ since he had become a cat. While he'd made himself at home in every other part of the apartment, he'd never so much as set one foot into Ran's room.

"I told him it would be bad if he were mistaken for a stray, that's all." Ran told him. Though she knew he couldn't answer, she still found herself having to fight the brief urge to wait for him to speak. "It would troublesome if he got picked up somewhere, and it's not like we can keep him confined to the apartment. Especially not now that he's well..." pausing for a moment, she tried to find the best way to phrase it.

Failing that, she just went with the next best thing. "...learned to cat better."

"...well, that's one way of putting it." Conan admitted, glancing back towards the black cat in question. It was true- when Heiji had first arrived here, he had been rather clumsy, all things considered. That he could understand a bit- it had taken him some time to adjust to being much smaller than he was used to, so he could only imagine that it was far more trouble for Heiji, for whom such a transformation was far more drastic.

It had taken calling in some help, before he could really start to master it. Perhaps Goro had taken pity on the strange cat that he had been introduced to, but at the very least, the Russian Blue had seemed to teach Heiji the ropes. From the sound of it, Heiji had found someone he could properly chat with too, which in a way, had almost made him a bit lonely.

Not that he'd ever admit that. Heiji's ego wouldn't let him live it down.

Watching as Heiji leapt onto the kitchen counter, something he wouldn't have been able to do even a week ago, Conan let out a slight sigh. Well, Ran did have a point. Though there weren't that many regulations in place as of yet in regards to stray cats, there was always chatter about it- chatter that had been increasing as of late.

"Besides, if Hattori-kun ends up getting lost, this way he can be brought back to us." Ran added on. "He doesn't know the area that well, after all."

As Heiji let out what they both recognized as a yowl of protest, Ran and Conan could only exchange a look. He might say that but... well, chances were, it would happen sooner or later.

Quite possibly, if not most definitely, sooner.

* * *

When it did, not even four days later, Heiji had refused to look at them for the rest of the evening. Thankfully by morning, he'd seemed to have forgotten to be mad at them, for which Conan had to admit that he was grateful for.

Being ignored by a cat, even a cat that was Hattori Heiji, stung.

* * *

The first time he ended up solving a case with _Ellery_ , he'd learned two things. The first was the fact that it wasn't nearly so hard to communicate with him as he had first thought it would be.

As for the second?

The second was that this _wasn't_ his first time at a crime scene since he'd been turned into a cat. Though he'd hardly missed the exasperation in Inspector Megure's voice as he finally caught up with Heiji, who all of a sudden had dashed off without warning, he'd misjudged the extent of it. It was only later, after the case had been solved, that he'd learned from the chatter that he'd nosed his way into at least two other crime scenes before this one.

And had, even as a cat, managed to point them in the right direction.

The smug look on Heiji's face, one that spelled out how pleased he was to have snatched cases out from under him on his very own turf, said more than words could. Vaguely, he had to wonder just how conditioned the people in Tokyo's Metropolitan police force had become to strange things, that they barely even questioned a cat that not only intruded on their crime scenes, but also seemed to have quite the knack for pointing out clues.

At least none of them seemed to guess that he was _Heiji_ \- though in her usual fashion, Detective Sato had come too close for comfort.

Still, if he had to say, he preferred solving cases with Heiji when he was still human. Between his height, and Heiji's lack of opposable thumbs, they found themselves with a lot more work to delegate to Detective Takagi. Still, somehow or another, they managed to make it work- when it came to cases, there were no circumstances that they couldn't overcome to bring the truth to light.

And well- there were some advantages, actually, to having a friend who was now a cat. Namely that people would do and say things in front of them that they wouldn't even in front of a child.

If there was one problem, it was the reputation that he was starting to get among the police. From what little tidbits he'd heard of it here and there, he already had quite the one before- but they'd since added _cat whisperer_ to the list. It wasn't as if he had even gotten better at understanding other cats, it was only just this one, and only because he already knew him!

It stuck, however.

A child that always seemed to show up at murder scenes and a black cat that could find them without fail... he hardly missed the combination that they made. Heiji, on the other hand?

He was almost certain that Heiji didn't notice, not one bit.

* * *

The cardboard box had, admittedly, been his own idea. It had just been on a whim at first, really- they'd already concluded that Heiji had very little resistance to his newfound feline instincts, so he couldn't help but want to check on all of them, one by one. Almost no sooner than he had set the cardboard box down, remnants from an online purchase that Ran would surely lecture Kogoro for later, it had found an occupant.

He'd come _this_ close to dubbing it Fort Asshole, but had instead settled on Ellery's Home, something Ran was much less likely to wash his mouth out with soap for. And while it might have started with just one box, well...

Things _might_ have gotten a little bit out of hand.

"At this point, I think it's more like a palace." Ran had observed one day, words which had lead to him renaming it just that. The interconnected labyrinth of cardboard boxes was the product of more time than he would care to admit, and frankly, he had very little idea as to what he would do with it once Heiji returned to being human.

Gift it to Goro, he guessed.

Right now, however, the problem was convincing Heiji to come _out_ of it.

"Hattori, come out already." Crouching down in front of the entrance, Conan squinted, unable to make out hide nor hair of the black cat. He was in there though, he'd seen him dash inside. It had become habit at this point- whenever Heiji wanted to sulk, or whenever he was in a bit of a mood, he would hide inside the labyrinth of boxes, where he wouldn't be disturbed.

"It's not that I don't want to bring you," something of a lie, actually- even in cat form, Heiji was sometimes more trouble than he was worth, and he said that as his friend, "...it's just that the inn doesn't allow pets."

He was definitely in there, he thought, making out the sound of a yowl coming from somewhere deeper within. By this point, he was more or less starting to get the hang of what it was that he might be saying, if not the exact words spoken. Letting out a long sigh, Conan pushed himself up into a sitting position.

At least Kogoro was downstairs in the detective agency, so Conan could have a proper conversation with him without looking like some kind of cat whisperer.

"I know Ran's mother treats you like a real cat, but that's because she thinks you _are_ one." Conan reasoned, folding his arms in front of his chest. How was it that his life had come to this? "It's not like we can just tell her the truth."

The loud yowl that came from within the boxes didn't sound very convinced, leaving Conan to let out another sigh. At times, it felt as if Heiji's stubbornness had become even more pronounced after becoming a cat. Certainly at times like this, it was easy to imagine.

Sure, they could just bring him there by force, but tease him though he might, he didn't want to totally ignore Heiji's rights as a human. So convince him he must.

"The cat food can't be _that_ bad, right? She buys that high class food, doesn't she?" Conan asked. This time he was more or less taking a guess at what Heiji had said, but from the sound of it, it seemed like he had hit the mark. "I know, I know, but if Ran's mother starts feeding you food from the table, Goro might pick up bad habits, so..."

For a long moment, he didn't get a response. Just as he opened his mouth to speak again, he heard a faint rustle from inside of the labyrinth of boxes- and before long, a cat's head poked out. For a long moment, Heiji said nothing- before he almost seemed to heave a sigh of his own, finally coming out of the cardboard box fortress.

 _Ya had better bring me back somethin' real good ta eat, Kudo, or I won't forgive ya._

For some reason, he understood that yowl loud and clear.


	4. The Case of Mouri Ran

**AN:** Hello, it's me, back again with another installment of this silly thing! This time around we get a glimpse at Ran's POV, and the rather uh, difficult role that she ends up taking up during all of this. Life's tough when you're Mouri Ran!

As always, thanks for reading, and if you could leave a review, that would be great! Until next time!

* * *

 **The Case of Mouri Ran**

* * *

The first hurdle that she ran into was, in hindsight, perhaps the easiest one. It did, however, lay the groundwork for what she would only later realize would become a trend- that it was her task to talk him into doing things he'd probably rather not do.

It hadn't been convincing her father to keep the cat, concocting a lie that it was a stray that Conan had found, and refused to give up. The boy even put on his best puppy dog eyes on to sell it, and somehow or another, it had been enough to convince Kogoro. Perhaps he just didn't want to push his luck too much against his daughter's desires- and if need be, she was more than willing to pull out a little muscle to push her father over to the _yes_ side.

She had been the one that Kazuha had asked to do this in the first place, after all! There was no way that she could call her now and tell her that her father had refused to take him in. Given how desperate she sounded when she had come to her, who knew where he would have ended up if she couldn't take him in? She wouldn't think that it would be the streets, and while he was probably clever enough to survive, it wasn't an idea that appealed to anyone, she imagined.

Clever, if not exactly _coordinated_ enough, a far cry from it, really- hence her extreme hesitation. As one would expect from someone who had been human all of his life, the newly made cat was having some trouble adjusting to his new form. It was a miracle her father hadn't yet noticed just how un-catlike this cat was.

They had ended up calling him Ellery, after his favorite mystery writer. Conan had been the one to choose the name, in the spur of the moment, after her father had asked them about it. After all, it wasn't as if they could use his actual name, since there was no way her father wouldn't find something strange about them naming a cat after one of their friends.

The actual name, of course, being-

"Hattori-kun."

At the sound of her voice, the black cat's ears flickered, before the cat himself looked up her way, curiosity gleaming in his blue eyes. Making his way over towards her, with a fair bit more grace than he had possessed when he'd first come to them, he leapt up onto the couch, taking a seat on the armrest- though only for a moment. With a somewhat irritated seeming flicker of his tail, Heiji repositioned himself on the top of the couch itself.

As she thought, he couldn't get used to being this small. In cat terms, he wasn't exactly that small- a good, average size really. But compared to how tall he had been before, she could only imagine that having to adjust to having everyone, even tiny Conan, literally looking down at him was one thing he didn't _want_ to have to do.

The yowl that Heiji let out sounded an awful lot like a question- or perhaps it only did because it was the only obvious thing he would say in this instance. Communication was going to be a problem, she had since realized. Even if he could understand them, they couldn't do the same thing back, not being able to speak, well, _cat_.

"I have something important I need to discuss with you." Ran told him, resisting the vague urge that rose up within her to reach out a hand to stroke him. As much as she knew that the black cat before her was actually Hattori Heiji, the high school detective of the west and Kazuha's childhood friend, that didn't change the fact that he was, nevertheless, a cat. With that soft, silky fur of his, there was no way that the temptation wouldn't be there.

But, she would resist! If Heiji didn't like it, then she wouldn't give in!

...is what she would like to say, but seeing as she sometimes pet him while he slept, but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him, she supposed.

Watching as Heiji tilted his head, blinking slowly, Ran gave him a small smile, taking a seat on the couch next to him. For a moment, she set the small bag that she had brought with her to the side, angling it so that he wouldn't be able to see it's contents. It was best to lead him into the idea, and explain why it was important, rather than just spring it on him all at once.

Though if she had to be honest, she was rather embarrassed to even be _having_ this discussion. Never in a million years would she have ever imagined that she would need to, and yet, here she was, doing that very thing.

"I suppose it's safe to say that you don't want to be an indoor cat." Ran began, watching as Heiji's ears flicked, taking note of the bag with a bit of curiosity. There was something intense about his gaze, almost like any other cat's, really- but knowing that it was a human behind it gave her a strange feeling. Even as he nodded his head as best he could manage, she couldn't quite shake the feeling.

"I didn't think so. And I don't want to keep you cooped up in the agency and the apartment either." Ran told him, shaking her head, resolving to just do her best. If she just treated him as if he were the normal Hattori Heiji, perhaps this would go over well. Between Conan's teasing, and her father treating him like a normal cat, that kind of respect was something he was probably sorely lacking.

She'd have to speak with Conan for sure about this, though. In a way, it was almost comforting to see him act a bit more like a child, but not at the expense of Heiji's already doubtlessly wounded pride. Honestly, if she didn't know any better, it almost felt as if he were getting back at Heiji for lording something over him- which was silly, really.

"But if you _really_ want to wander around outdoors, there's one important thing we need to discuss first." Ran began, her gaze trailing a bit away from him. Cats didn't really blink, not even ones that used to be human- and she was feeling that now, as she racked her brain, trying to think of the best way to phrase this. "You don't want to be mistaken for a stray, do you?"

Somehow, be it from the annoyed sounding yowl, the twitching of the tip of his tail, or the rather sour expression on his face, she could gather that he was strongly protesting the alternative- being viewed as a _pet_. Her father had already called him as much, a comment which he had bristled at, rather understandably so. And while she could understand his reasons, the fact remained that, well...

"I know that you don't want to be thought of that way, Hattori-kun, but we need to look at the bigger picture here." Ran told him. "If people mistake you for a stray, there could be trouble! Not to mention the fact that you're not very familiar with Beika's streets as a human, much less a cat, so if you get lost, we don't really have any way to get you back to us."

He was listening to her, thank god. He didn't seem pleased by what she was getting at, but he was, at the very least, giving her the time of day.

"That's why, as much as I hate to ask this of you, I think it would best if, well..." As she trailed off a little, Ran found herself starting a bit as Heiji jumped into her lap. Heedless of her reaction, he shoved his face in the bag, dragging out the item that she had purchased a moment later, clasped firmly between his teeth.

That was a detective for you. It would appear that becoming something other than human hadn't dulled those senses at all.

She knew that his so-called eyebrows were fake, merely patterns on his fur in a color that made them stand out, but something about the way they furrowed together in spite of that managed to clearly convey his displeasure. It was to be expected, after all- what was tightly clamped between his teeth was none other than a cat collar, complete with a tag that she had engraved with both his 'name' and their phone number.

"I'll make sure that Conan-kun doesn't tease you about it, and we can take it off when Kazuha-chan comes to visit if you want, but I really think it would be a good idea if you wore it, Hattori-kun." Ran told him, knowing full well how strained her smile was right now. "I'm not asking this of you to make fun of you, I know this whole situation you're in right now is... _less than ideal_ for you, but..."

He was angry. He was _clearly_ angry.

Even so, he dipped his head, letting go of the collar, allowing it to fall in her lap. Letting out a rather grumpy sounding yowl, Heiji's tail twitched, his blue eyes turning away from her.

"Eh? Are you saying yes?" Ran blinked. There was another yowl after that, followed by another attempted nod of his head, just in case that wasn't enough for her to figure out his answer. "Are you sure?"

Another yowl, this one more irritated than any of the others. Lifting up his head so that she could see more of his neck, Heiji's tail twitched, an almost expectant expression on his face, as if he were telling her to just get it over with already.

"Then..." Picking up the collar that had been placed on her lap, Ran gave him a rather apologetic smile. "I am sorry about this, Hattori-kun. Hopefully we'll get this whole thing figured out before long."

Kazuha had said that she was going back to the shrine where this all probably started, but she'd yet to get in touch with them as to if she'd found anything there.

His next yowl, she thought, she could clearly understand- complete agreement with her words. Fingers brushing up against soft fur as she carefully placed the collar around his neck, making sure that it wasn't too tight, Ran quickly pulled her hands away from him once she was done, so as to not fall into temptation.

"There you go!" Ran said, trying to smile. "I know you probably can't see colors as well anymore, but I picked one that was green. I thought you might like it."

There _had_ been one with a camouflage print, of all things, but well... the cat beds that Kazuha had bought were already of the same pattern. As much as Heiji liked it, she didn't quite want that taste to become a reflection of her own, not by those who didn't know.

What Heiji didn't know couldn't hurt him, she supposed.

* * *

She almost wished that she hadn't seen that flyer, or at the very least, that she could have ignored it. If she hadn't, she wouldn't be in this situation right now.

...is what she would like to tell herself, but in truth, she knew that it was probably only a matter of time before they ended up crossing this hurdle.

"Come on, Hattori-kun!" Ran called out, frowning as she crouched down, drying to peer underneath the couch. How had he fit himself under there anyways? It didn't seem as if there was that much space, and yet he had managed to squeeze himself in it in spite of that. "Don't run away!"

The yowl that Heiji let out was rather muffled by the fabric of the couch, but she could make a pretty fair guess that it was a solid _no_. Considering what she had just asked of him, she really couldn't blame him either. It wasn't as if she wanted to ask it either, it was just...!

"You saw the flyer, right? It's important!" Ran asked, once more sliding the flyer underneath the couch, vaguely grateful that nobody else was home right now. She'd chosen a time in which everyone had gone out to try her luck with this, something which had proven to be a rather wise decision.

"Don't give me that yowl, Hattori-kun!" Ran frowned, snatching the flyer back from under the couch before he could swat at it. "This would all be much easier if you just came along with me like a good cat."

Another yowl, markedly of displeasure. Honestly... she could just turn the couch over, but he'd probably just dart off somewhere else before she had a chance to catch him. When had he gotten this used to being a cat? Well, maybe it shouldn't surprise her that much- it had been a month since he'd turned into one, after all.

"I know, I know you're not a real cat, Hattori-kun. But that doesn't change the fact that you're one now, and that means that you're susceptible to the same kinds of sickness that they are." Ran told him, letting out a long sigh, pushing herself up from the floor and folding her arms in front of her chest. "If you don't come with me to the vet for your shots, I'm going to tell Conan-kun and father that you can't go outside any longer!"

A yowl of protest and disgruntlement, to the point where she could almost hear the sound of Heiji's Osakan accent in her head, recoiling at both of those ideas. Letting out a long sigh, Ran let her shoulders slump. She hadn't imagined it would be easy- it had been enough of a problem just talking him into taking those flea and heartworm pills that she had bought, but actually going to vet was a completely different thing.

Not that she could blame him. After all, for a cat, shots were...

Letting out another long sigh, Ran wondered how it was that she had gotten into this mess again. At this rate, maybe her best bet would be just to catch him off guard, and drag him there by force.

...but Heiji would never forgive her for that, so it was out. Somehow she didn't think being hated by him would put her in very good company.

"I know, I know, Hattori-kun." Ran told him. "I don't want to have to bring you there either. I can only imagine that it's going to be embarrassing for the both of us, if not you far more so, but..."

"If you got sick with something, and didn't recover, I don't think Kazuha-chan would forgive me." Ran told him. "There's all sorts of nasty diseases that a cat can get that we can't prevent without a shot. Wouldn't it be better to take measures to prevent that now, than to have you be rushed into emergency care later?"

There was a long pause of silence at her words, which Ran had come to understand meant that he was thinking them over. Finally, after what felt like a long time, a head poked out from underneath the couch, soon followed after by the rest of him. The expression in his eyes was, predictably, one of displeasure- but also apparent resignation.

"That's more like it." Ran said, nodding her head. "It'll probably be over before you even know it. I'll even treat you to something afterwards, anything you like. And I promise not to tell either Conan-kun or Kazuha-chan anything. Okay?"

The unconvinced yowl that she got wasn't _quite_ the answer that she wanted to hear, but she got the feeling it was what she was going to have to take.

* * *

The takoyaki had always been planned, but at the moment, it felt more like it was an apology, rather than a reward. She was sure that if he could speak, he would complain that the Tokyo stuff just couldn't compare to the real deal, but at the moment, well...

Perhaps even if he could talk, Heiji might be rather short on words. After what had happened- and what had been _suggested_ \- she was honestly feeling more than a little bit speechless herself. In hindsight, she wondered if she had objected to the vet's suggestion a little too vehemently, but she was fairly certain that Heiji still needed those. The shots alone had probably been more than enough, when compounded with the fact that the vet, naturally, treated him as he would any other feline patient.

But to suggest something like _neutering_... well, perhaps she should just be glad it wasn't required by the law here.

Needless to say, for both of their sakes, not a word of this was going to leave her mouth. And giving the expression on Heiji's feline features, one that was rather easy to read, she got the impression it would serve her well to say that much out loud once again.

"I won't say anything, Hattori-kun." Ran told him, setting down the takoyaki in front of him, now that she was certain that it was cool enough for him to eat. "Not a word, even to Kazuha-chan."

Though it had been her fault that he had been put in such an awkward situation in the first place, the faint yowl that he let out seemed to be one of gratitude. Dimly, Ran could only find herself thinking that she never ended up sharing his same fate- and that they should probably try a little bit harder to return him to normal.

Hopefully before he needed his booster shots, to be exact.


	5. The Case of Mouri Kogoro

**AN** : Hello again, we're back for another installation of this silly nonsense. This time was extra fun since it used a complete outsider's perspective... that of Kogoro's. The man keeps picking up high school detectives as freeloaders without even knowing it, and can't seem to catch a break. That's life, Kogoro!

As always, thanks for reading! If you could be so kind as to leave a review, that would be lovely!

* * *

 **The Case of Mouri Kogoro  
**

* * *

He'd only gotten up to go to the restroom for three minutes, and yet when he came back, he found the chair he'd left behind had managed to find itself a new occupant.

"Hey, you damn cat!" His loud tone disturbing the black cat out of it's slumber, it jerked it's head up, visibly startled. "That's _my_ chair, you know. You can't just nap in it as you please."

The cat looked up at him, dead in the eyes, for all of five seconds- before it seemingly dismissed what he'd said, and curled back up to go to sleep again. Clicking his tongue, Mouri Kogoro reached down, scooping up the pesky feline and placing it on the floor, taking up his seat again before it had a chance to recover.

Honestly, why had he agreed to this in the first place? First the brat, and now the brat's _cat_ \- was he going to bring home a dog next?

Ellery, they'd called it. Figures the kid would name his pet after a mystery author. He'd turned up back from an infidelity investigation one day to find it sleeping on his desk, and to find both his daughter and their resident freeloader begging him to keep it. He'd been against it at first- but well... Ran had been _convincing_ , and he was going to leave it at that.

Since then the black cat, a former stray, or so he gathered, had made itself at home at the agency. It was a weird cat, and at times, almost didn't seem to know how to act like a cat- although it was starting to, bit by bit. When he'd joked about it to Ran, she'd told him it was probably just because he was getting used to being a house cat.

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you." There was no way he could miss the cat's loud yowl, even as the sound of his own grumbling partially covered it up. "Just find somewhere else to sleep, you damn cat. Ran bought you a bed, didn't she?"

And here he was, having a conversation with a cat. In his defense, in the middle of a weekday afternoon with no work in sight, it wasn't like there was much else to fill his time with. The Yoko drama that he had been looking forward to had even been pushed back to another time slot.

Besides, if Kogoro didn't miss his guess, he was half sure the damn cat could understand him.

Point in case, it seemed to stare at him with those blue eyes of his for a moment longer, before turning on it's heels, heading over towards the couch. Leaping up on the armrest, it moved onto the couch proper, finding a sunny spot to curl up in. Leaning back in his chair, Kogoro watched it with idle interest as it kneaded a spot, before falling back asleep.

Of all things to bring home, a _black_ cat. As if he wasn't jinxed enough already.

That Kazuha girl seemed interested enough in it when she came to visit, so he'd been half hoping she might take it back with her. No dice, though- it seemed like her father was allergic to cats. He'd even asked after that Osaka detective brat, who strangely hadn't come with her the last time she'd paid a visit, but she'd very quickly said that his father was the same, so it was impossible.

Fair enough, he supposed. That Osaka kid seemed like more of a dog person anyways.

"Honestly," leaning back further in his chair, Kogoro reached for his pack of cigarettes- before his hands stilled, remembering the firm way that Ran had told him not to smoke around the cat, "...can't some work come in or something?"

At the mention of _work_ , the cat's ears twitched. For a moment, Kogoro thought it might have caught the sound of footsteps, but as seconds turned into a minute, he guessed not.

"Oi, you." Kogoro spoke up, but this time the cat seemed to pointedly ignore him.

"Oi, cat." Ignored again, to which he twitched a brow, unable to help but feel like it was doing this on purpose.

" _Ellery_." He finally said, using the name that Conan had given to it. For a second, he thought the cat would ignore that too- before it lifted his head, giving him what he was almost half certain was both a quizzical and irritated look.

"You can understand me, can't you?" Kogoro asked, narrowing his eyes, half swearing the cat just _flinched_. With a twitch of it's tail, Ellery rose to his feet, leaping down off the couch, and heading to the door.

For a moment, it pawed at it, before turning his head to look back expectantly at him. Lifting a brow, wondering what he had been thinking, expecting a straight answer out of a cat, of all things, Kogoro folded his arms in front of his chest.

"Ran told me to not let you out, so I'm not letting you out." Kogoro told him. "If you have to take a shit, your litter box is in the bathroom right there."

For a long moment, the cat gave him another stare down- those blue eyes of his were almost strangely familiar, he dimly thought- before it turned sharply on it's heel, almost indignantly marching over towards the bathroom. Pushing the door open with a combination of his face and a paw, it slipped in through the crack, disappearing from sight.

"Weird cat." Kogoro muttered.

Figures that brat would bring back an oddball.

* * *

Not just any black cat, as it turned out, but a black cat that was attracted to _murder scenes_.

No matter how many times he tossed the cat out of the crime scene, it kept finding it's way back in, nosing about where it shouldn't be. He'd even instructed Conan in no uncertain terms to keep a close watch on it, but given the kid himself couldn't keep his nose out of them, he doubted that his damn cat was about to.

If it was going to end up this way, it would have been better for it to remain an indoors cat forever, Kogoro thought to himself, watching as the feline nosed through a bookshelf, in search of who knows what. He didn't even understand why the kid had brought it with him- or to be more precise, it was more like the cat had snuck into the car and followed them of his own accord.

What did it think it was, a _detective_?

First a kid, and now a _cat_... he was slowly starting to understand how Inspector Megure felt.

Even if the cat did have good instincts.

 _Too_ good, really. Not better than his _own_ , of course- at least, he'd never admit to that- but too damn good for something that should have had no concept of murder, outside of when it chowed down on the occasional bird or two. Which... wasn't entirely the same thing, granted, but close enough.

"Now, now, dad," Ran spoke up, sliding herself in his way just as he reached out to grab the cat by the scruff of it's neck, so that he could toss it back to the freeloader brat that claimed to be it's owner- though he doubted a cat like this would acknowledge anyone as any such thing. "...don't get so mad at him. Ellery's just curious."

"He's messing up the crime scene." Kogoro grumbled, even as the cat pulled out a scrap of something out from behind the bookcase. He'd been curious as to what the cat had been fishing for back there for the past few minutes, but in the end, it turned out to be nothing more than a dirty cloth.

"Shouldn't even _be_ here." Kogoro noted. "Don't know how the damn thing keeps getting in the car."

"Well..." Arching his brow at the nervous bubble of laughter that escaped his daughter, Kogoro opened his mouth to ask if she knew something- before he was cut off, by a sound that had become far to familiar to him for his liking.

" _Ah-le-le~_!"

...if the kid was going to tell him that the cloth the cat had fished out had blood or something on it, he was going to scream.

"Isn't this blood?"

...oh for _god's sake_.

* * *

"Oi, cat."

"He has a name, dad." Ran supplied, barely looking up from her task of setting the table.

"Does it really matter?" Kogoro asked, frowning a little as she set down a small plate in front of the cat. "Why do we have to let it eat the same thing as us anyways?"

"It's not exactly the same thing." Ran told him. "And I thought we'd been over this."

"We have, but I just don't understand it." Kogoro told her. "A cat should eat cat food. Eri even recommended a good brand for us."

At that, the cat in question let out a hiss, glowering at him with all of the force it could muster. But like hell he was going to let himself be intimidated by a _cat_ \- even a cat that he knew was no stranger to clawing and scratching when it was displeased. He'd been on the receiving end of that more times than he cared for.

The kid had too, weirdly enough, given that he was the one who'd brought the damn thing here in the first place. Seemed to treat the thing less like a pet, and more like some kind of friend.

"You know Ellery doesn't like cat food. He won't eat it even if we give it to him." Ran told him, glancing over towards Conan, the two of them almost sharing a knowing look. "Right, Conan-kun?"

"Yes!" Conan piped up, nodding his head. "Besides, it's fine, isn't it?"

"It's _not_ fine." Kogoro said, grumbling to himself. Lately he'd been getting the feeling that those two were hiding some kind of secret between them, but when he asked after it, they both pretended that nothing like that was going on. "What that cat eats come out of my beer fund."

"That's why it's fine." Ran insisted, taking a seat herself now that everyone- cat included- had been served. "You don't need to be drinking that much in the first place, dad."

The cat seemed to yowl in agreement, sparing him a look up from his dinner. If he didn't know any better, the damn thing was mocking him- his eye twitched at the thought of that. As he thought, this cat really could understand them. Creepy, creepy!

"By the way, Kazuha-chan's coming over this weekend." Ran told him. "That's fine, isn't it?"

"It's fine, but what's up with her lately?" Kogoro asked, drawing his attention away from the catch, though not missing the way it seemed to perk up at the Osaka girl's name. "She's been coming here every weekend, just about."

"She just really likes Ellery." Ran told him, and for a brief moment, he could almost swear there was a hint of amusement to her voice. "She can't have a cat at home, after all."

"Aren't there friends with cats in Osaka that she could visit instead? There's no need for her to come out all the way here just to see a cat." Kogoro pointed out. "Well, as long as she doesn't drag that trouble making detective boy with her, it's not a problem, but..."

Come to think of it, he hadn't seen hide nor hair of him lately- that Osakan detective kid. He usually always seemed to come part and parcel with that Kazuha girl- or more accurately, she always seemed to come part and parcel with _him_. It was almost as if he had vanished into thin air- not unlike the one closer to home, he couldn't help but think. Was this some kind of hot new trend among high school detectives these days?

Not that he _minded_ \- there were too damn many of them to begin with.

"Heiji-niichan won't be coming." Conan told him. "He's busy with something."

"Feels like he's been busy a lot lately." Kogoro observed, arching a brow. "He fighting with that girlfriend of his or something?"

Gross, now the cat was spitting out it's food. Narrowing his eyes, Kogoro watched in mild disgust as Ran quickly cleaned it up, laughing a bit awkwardly.

"That's not it, dad." Ran told him. "Hattori-kun's just got a lot of things going on lately, it seems. I'm sure he'll come by when he can."

"He can stay away." Kogoro noted. "Whenever that brat shows up, he's always dragging some weird trouble not far behind."

The cat seemed to yowl in protest at that, almost as if it took offense at the mere suggestion. What was it getting so worked up for? It wasn't as if he'd ever even met the Osakan detective brat to begin with. If he didn't know any better, it was like he was taking it personally.

It couldn't possibly be...?

Narrowing his eyes, Kogoro leaned in across the table, ignoring Ran's note of protest as he squinted at the cat. For a long moment, he held it's gaze- before he drew back, picking up his rice bowl.

Nah.

Who'd ever heard of a human turning into a cat anyways? This wasn't some kind of manga, dammit.


End file.
